Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
