this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
