tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
