I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize