There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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