Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
