If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize