Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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