it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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