I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
