i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
