She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you traded sex for a burrito?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize