the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
