thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
