CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
this hospital has no fireball
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
