You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
