don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
BRING THE BAGELS
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
