Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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