You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize