glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
