Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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