i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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