his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
