I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No subtext here. People are naked.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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