well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
