Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
