As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
