Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize