Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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