How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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