soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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