Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize