there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Michael Bay diarrhea
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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