I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
