This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
