ADVERTISEMENT

• (217): View more from Illinois

  we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.

  Fav 74 1223 5257

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.

  Fav 40 6373 894

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (510): View more from California

  Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.

  Fav 7 1658 2914

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.

  Fav 4 1784 763

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

  Fav 2 1422 699

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer

  Fav 3 1198 574

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.

  Fav 3 542 895

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were serious about those bagels

  Fav 3 818 473

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.

  Fav 2 1625 632

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.

  Fav 3 1382 529

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?

  Fav 2 567 659

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (813): View more from Florida

  He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?

  Fav 3 73 13

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible

  Fav 0 31 14

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting

  Fav 0 39 7

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac

  Fav 0 31 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize