I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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