we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
