It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
