What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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