Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
