i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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