"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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