We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
