It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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