never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize