I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
