I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
