she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
