Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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