I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
false alarm, still single
Randomize
