They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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