the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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