I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
