Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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