OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
