Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
