Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
