im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
