Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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